How to Rebuild Stability While You Are Still Going Through Divorce
Going through a divorce requires juggling paperwork, emotions, frustrations, and uncertainties that can get pretty overwhelming. To maintain your well-being, it’s crucial to create stability while you go through the process and maintain that stability when everything is finalized. The choices you make now will shape how you get through your divorce as well as your quality of life on the other side.
Start with legal clarity
Getting your footing requires a reality check regarding what’s happening. Divorce is stressful, and a big source of that stress comes from not knowing what to do or how to proceed. Without legal guidance, you’ll end up guessing what documents to file, what rights you have, and what will happen next.
That’s why it’s crucial to consult with a divorce attorney early on. They’ll tell you exactly how to file for divorce and help you understand your rights. A good attorney will explain all of your options, the risks, and potential outcomes for your case. This alone will reduce anxiety by giving you a better sense of what to expect.
A lawyer can help you understand what paperwork you’ll need to file, how to submit everything properly, and how long each stage of the process takes. With legal help, you’re less likely to commit filing errors or miss deadlines.
Build a solid financial base as soon as possible
Money stress is one of the biggest issues during a divorce. Your finances are about to change, and you need to establish a strong financial base as quickly as possible. Don’t wait for your divorce to be completed. Start now.
Create a budget that focuses only on your present income and essential expenses, including immediate obligations and legal costs. With a basic budget, you’ll be prepared and less likely to panic when your financial situation tangibly shifts.
Open the accounts you need for independence. For instance, open a personal checking and savings account in just your name. This is crucial for your survival. Even before your divorce is finalized, you’ll want to start moving away from shared accounts when possible. Start building your own emergency savings even if it’s small. You’ll feel a greater sense of stability when you have financial independence.
Focus on supporting your nervous system
While you go through a divorce, your nervous system will be under severe stress. You’re going to experience spikes in stress hormones, and your sleep will suffer. There’s a chance you’ll experience cognitive overload, and that can keep you in a state of fight-or-flight for unhealthy periods of time.
The best way to support yourself during this time is to build daily rituals that signal safety to your body. They don’t need to be involved. They just need to be consistent. For example, small things like a morning walk or nightly tea can do wonders for your nervous system. Reading for ten minutes before bed or listening to calming music while you fall asleep can also help. When your life is unpredictable, your brain will respond positively to routine.
Another important piece of the puzzle is to keep a small circle of people you trust. The best people to lean on for support are those who don’t feed your fear or fan the drama flames. These are all things that will keep your nervous system calm, and with a nervous system at peace, everything else will be more manageable.
Protect your physical health
Your physical body will absorb the shock of your emotions. Stress doesn’t just impact your mental health – it also affects your immune function, digestion, energy, and even your judgment. Chronic stress increases the risk of anxiety and sleep problems, so managing your physical health is a must.
Moving your body will help a lot. Even just walking around the block, stretching in your house, or doing gentle yoga is enough to regulate your health and keep stress hormones at bay. Most importantly, prioritize getting deep sleep. Sleep more than usual if needed and go to bed a little earlier than usual. Don’t let yourself stay up all night doomscrolling.
Don’t wait to build stability
Don’t wait for your divorce to be finalized before you start building stability. Start now by creating routines and habits that support your mental and physical wellbeing. Divorce will create changes, but it doesn’t have to completely uproot your life.
